


Where There's Tears, There's Hope

by RedSnow1



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Loss, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Feelings, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, High Priestess Zelda, Idiots in Love, Madam Spellman - Freeform, Other, Parent Zelda Spellman, Protective Zelda Spellman, Queen of Hell Lilith, Sex, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Spellman Family - Freeform, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, Women In Power, Zelda Spellman Needs A Hug, Zelda Spellman-centric, Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith-centric, adult centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29308668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSnow1/pseuds/RedSnow1
Summary: SPOILER PART 4.After the tragedy of Sabrina’s death, Zelda and Lilith find solace in each other’s company. Sometimes, all you need to heal, is someone who understands exactly how you feel — even if it’s your former enemy.In this journey through grief, there will be tears, blood, and maybe, just maybe –  hope.
Relationships: Ambrose Spellman & Sabrina Spellman, Hilda Spellman & Sabrina Spellman, Hilda Spellman & Zelda Spellman, Marie LaFleur (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina)/Zelda Spellman, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sabrina Spellman & Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith, Sabrina Spellman & Zelda Spellman, Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Comments: 34
Kudos: 65





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Le_biscuit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_biscuit/gifts).



> Hello Hello Madam Spellman fandom,
> 
> New person here! Kinda scared to share this work with you, but here we are.   
> I've been watching CAOS for a year now, and fell deeply in love with Lilith and Zelda, especially as a couple (thank you Miranda and Michelle). After the shitshow that was Part 4, I decided out of rage for my favorite characters, to give them an ending I thought was fitting. This is what this story is about. It's mainly focused on Lilith and Zelda's story which was almost non-existent in Part 4. And also, getting Sabrina back.
> 
> I have written the first 10 chapters entirely, and I will be posting this story every weeks, on Tuesdays.
> 
> Note : I am French, and this story was not betaed. I apologize for any mistakes you may find. They are mine, and mine alone. I did my best here, but I'm not entirely fluent so please bear with me.  
> Massive thank you to my friends @Persephonia1 who supported me through this adventure and without whom I would have never gotten this far.  
> And thank you @Le_biscuit, you inspired me to write this story, and to whom I would like to dedicate it. 
> 
> Now, without further ado, please enjoy this prologue, and let me know if you've enjoyed this in the comment section. Your feedback is always appreciated.

Lilith sat on the throne of Hell, a devilish grin on her face. She crossed her legs, sighed of contentment, and brushed her wild hair away from her face. 

In front of her, a bloody pile of freshly decapitated corpses. The entire court of Hell was gone and with it, all the princes. Their heads rested on a spike, surrounding the throne room. A reminder to whoever tried to contest her crowning. She reveled at the mere sight of them, their mouths open agape, their eyes bulging out of their sockets in horror. She could remember their faces as she had slaughtered them all, their screams echoing in her mind. The feeling of their warm blood on her face, her dress ripped in battle. What a glorious way to begin her reign.

There was no one else to claim the throne, no more threats. Well — Except for Sabrina. For some reason, Lilith was quite sure she would not be interested in stealing her crown from her again. No, Hell was hers, and hers alone. She couldn’t wait to reshape the entire place in her image, to rule the Underworld, to forge it into the glorious place it should always have been. She was Queen now, and things would change.  _ Sweet, sweet revenge _ , she thought. She ran her index finger on the stained spear of Longinus, and tasted the delicious nectar of her enemies’ blood. Lilith laughed, her head thrown back. It tasted like victory.

After all this time, after all the sacrifices she had made… she deserved this.

She felt a sudden pang in her chest, and turned to the side, where she had installed another seemingly smaller throne. The totem laid there, sat on a cushion.

“I did this for you, Adam.” She whispered, cupping the totem’s cheek tenderly.

She could almost swear she had heard a giggle.

* * *

The minion placed the crown over her head.

It was as heavy as she remembered. The mere feeling of it was overwhelming.

Lilith rose in front of her newly assembled subjects: hellhounds, demons from all the circles of Hell gathered for her coronation. They had sworn their undying fidelity to her.

They all bowed down.

“Hail Lilith” They all said in unisson.

Their recognition made her heart swell in her chest : she felt completely reborn. She smiled wickedly. Right now, she was at the top of the world.

“What do you think, Adam?” She said, turning her head towards the totem.

“Mama.” The baby cooed.

Lilith grinned proudly.

* * *

Lilith was standing on the balcony, in her bedroom, contemplating her newly assembled kingdom with pride when she felt it.

It was a raw, familiar pain. An unspeakably powerful agony. 

It felt as if her heart had just broken into a thousand pieces, as if her entire world was falling apart. The force of such a feeling was weighing on her. She bent over, struggling to catch her breath, her hand over her chest. She wanted to scream, but the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She opened her mouth, and slid on the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Her minions rushed to her side, but she waved them off with a flicker of her wrist. She didn’t want anyone to see her that way. A newly crowned queen sobbing on the floor — what would they think? 

Tears swelled in her eyes, tears that were not her own. A river of sorrow — untamable, burning their way down her cheeks. She took a shaky breath : it turned into a sob. Her entire body was overwhelmed by a myriad of feelings : guilt, pain, rage but mostly… mostly grief.

It was the same despair she had felt upon killing her own child, only amplified a thousand times. She screamed — She couldn’t go through all of it again. It was the pain only a mother who had just lost a child would feel. Lilith closed her eyes, willing the feelings to stop but it was of no use. All she could hear were the desperate moans of an entire coven, mourning over one of their own. She could feel all of their anguish, different, distinguishable. She could sense them all, sharing the pain with her unwillingly.

And a voice, so clear in her head. A voice usually cold, unbothered.

_ Hecate… _

She knew who it belonged to, of course she did. She knew whose pain she was currently feeling.

And she knew who she was mourning.

Lilith crumbled on the ground, crying Zelda Spellman’s tears.

_ Sabrina _ , she moaned, over and over again.

She couldn’t tell whether it was Zelda’s words or her own.

* * *

No one invited her to the burial. 

She couldn’t blame them : they obviously had a lot on their minds.

And she still was, despite what had happened over the past couple of months, their enemy.

She came anyway, dressed in black and stood behind the crowd silently. She didn’t belong. The ceremony was for the person closest to Sabrina Spellman. Her friends, her family. Where did she fit in that picture?

But she came anyway, pushed by her own grief. She didn’t want to bring any attention to herself : she only meant to pay her respect to the Spellman family. 

To Sabrina herself. 

That sweet little witch she had hated as much as she had loved. Sabrina was too cheery, too dreamy — flaws that had only made her more lovable. She was the girl who had stolen her throne, her place in Lucifer’s heart. The girl who had awakened a resemblance of fire within her. She owed her demise to Sabrina, but she also owed her her glory. Without her, she would have never found the strength to rebel against her tormentor. Without her, she would have never become Queen of Hell. They had guided each other on the right path, and over the year, she had grown to care about the girl more than she had let on. She was her protege, her step-daughter. For so many months, she had watched over her — by necessity she had tried to persuade herself. But Sabrina Spellman was family in a way — a twisted way. Her departure had left yet another hole in her heart. Another wound that would never be mended.

She would miss Sabrina Spellman dearly. And she wished she could have been there to help her. Maybe then — Just maybe… She would have made a difference.

Lilith shook her head. Wishful thinking was of no use.

The deed was done, and there was nothing she could do to change it.

She sighed, and swallowed down her tears.

She listened to Zelda Spellman’s beautiful eulogy, and felt the sorrow in the vibration of her voice. Her eyes remained on the ground throughout the entire ceremony. She couldn’t face Zelda’s pain. Not just yet. Not when she was not over her own.

When the witch mentioned Hell, their gazes met ever so briefly, over the crowd.

Lilith felt another surge of fresh tears cascading down her cheeks. Seeing her so broken — she who always looked composed and assured, she who did her best to remain cold and severe — seeing beyond that mask was too much. Too soon.

Their gazes met.

And with it, their agony.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda doesn't not cope well with Sabrina's loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Thank you very much for your comments and encouragements! I'm happy you've enjoyed the prologue!  
> Now, Chapter 1, focused on Zelda. These first chapters are a bit short, but the rest will be longer.  
> Again, many thanks to my friend @Persephonia1 without whom this would have never been possible!
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you've thought about it!  
> Happy reading and I'll see you next week!

Zelda Spellman was alive.  
Sabrina was not.  
And the world had lost all its savor. It felt as if the blond haired girl had sucked all the happiness with her last dying breath. What was the point of it all?  
Zelda Spellman was alive but only just barely.  
She moved, she breathed, but she was empty.  
And everything was grey.  
But she pretended. Oh, she was good at that. She pretended that everything was alright and she led the Coven with her usual iron fist. She thought of the others before thinking about herself. That was all she had to give now.  
They needed a sense of stability in these uncertain times.  
They needed her.  
How long would she be able to pull this off?  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
She kept on staring at her door, half expecting to see Sabrina burst uninvited into her office.  
She would push both of the door dramatically, her eyes fixed on her. She would inform her all about this new danger lurking in the dark, flinging her hands around as she always did, her shrill voice echoing in the hallways. Zelda would be worried, but she would smile. Heaven, this child had a gift for getting herself into trouble. Always had, always would. She would call her aunt Zee, and everything would be alright in the best of worlds. She would come to her, as she always did whenever she was terrified. And Zelda would be fine with that.  
She would always do whatever it took to save her, to protect her.  
She had known that the moment her eyes had laid on her beautiful baby’s face.  
She could never say no to Sabrina.  
Zelda kept on staring at the door, hoping to see her pass the threshold one more time, with her skirts and silly curls. She would tell her that she was beautiful. Perhaps, she should have done that more. Perhaps she should have told her how much she loved her.  
But Sabrina never came.  
And Sabrina never would.  
Sabrina was dead.  
And it was her fault.  
  


* * *

  
  
Hilda often stayed with her, at the Academy. And so did Ambrose.  
They couldn’t go home, not just yet.  
Not when the entire house was still imprinted by her presence.  
They had tried.  
It was too much, too hard.  
Too soon.  
But they remained together.  
 _We, Spellmans, should stick together, I think_.   
  
“You haven’t touched your meal, Zelds.” Hilda said. She was carrying yet another plate of sweet potatoes and beans. From the look on her face, Zelda could tell that she had been crying.  
  
Her eyes were swollen, her make-up runny, her face puffy: Hilda Spellman was a wreck. And she had every right to be. They had lost a daughter that night. The both of them. But Hildy — Hildy kept on standing, even though each steps hurt. She wept her way into the world shamelessly but kept on living. Zelda admired her sister for that. Hilda didn’t pretend. Hilda felt everything and wasn’t scared to show it. She wished she could have done the same. Zelda hid behind a mask so heavy it took all her strength to keep on standing. It was weighing her down, it hurt so much she could barely breathe.  
A part of her wanted to reach out to her sister. She wanted to pull her close and hold her tight. She was all she had left. Her and Ambrose were her only family left. She couldn’t. Zelda Spellman knew that the moment she did that, Hilda would start to cry. And so would she. And she would never, ever stop.  
Her sister’s pain would awaken her own.  
So she remained behind her desk, guarded, cautious, when her heart screamed for her to seek comfort in her sister ’s arms.  Hilda placed the plate in front of her, but Zelda discarded it, disgusted.  
  
“I’m not particularly hungry.” She said.  
  
Hilda opened her mouth but closed it. Zelda knew what she wanted to say, but was grateful she didn’t. Hilda left slowly, glancing back at her, worried.  
  
“Thank you, Hildy” Zelda said, not trusting herself enough to meet her own sister’s eyes.  
  
She gave her plate to Vinegar Tom, who was more than eager to enjoy her meal.

* * *

  
  
There was much to be done at the Academy. Zelda reveled in the tasks laid out before her. Anything to escape reality. Anything to busy herself with. Anything to keep her thoughts away.  
A mountain of paperwork laid untouched on her desk. A boring task, exactly what she needed right now. She took the first letter and decided to open it.  
She slid the letter open just as easily as she had slit her own niece’s throat.  
And she looked at the paper in her hands.  
It was drenched in blood.  
Sabrina’s.  
The words on the letter formed only one sentence.  
You killed her.  
She watched as the paperwork disappeared, as the lights deemed. Zelda Spellman began shaking with her all might, staring in terror at her niece’s body on her desk, lifeless, bloody. She had killed her. It was all her fault. She didn’t cry, she didn’t move.  
She stared, frozen, overwhelmed by guilt and regrets.  
That was all it took to push her over the edge.  
Vinegar Tom whimpered from the other side of the room, but Zelda didn’t pay attention.  
She knew what had to be done.  
  


* * *

  
  
She smiled when Hilda said she was going to see Dr Cee. _If you need anything_ … She had whispered before leaving.  
She kissed Ambrose on the forehead when he left to help Prudence discard a dismembered Faustus Blackwood. _I’ll see you soon_ , he had said.  
She wished the Coven a goodnight, and shut off the light as she exited from the dormitory.  
She patted Vinegar Tom as he climbed on her lap to get some cuddles. _You ’re all I have left_, she thought, running her fingers through his hair.  
She didn’t say goodbye. She didn’t say anything out of the ordinary.  
She sat peacefully at her desk and waited for the witching hour. She felt as if she was floating above her own body. She wasn’t really here, or anywhere for that matter. She was already a ghost. And she was fine with that.  
And when the full moon was upon her, Zelda Spellman rose, her letter-opener in hand , and made her way out of her office .  Vinegar Tom tried to follow, wiggling his tail in worry. He could sense that something was wrong. Zelda locked him up in the room, despite his panicked whimper.  
She smiled, out of habit. She smiled, but she felt empty.  
What happened now had to be done alone.  
  


* * *

  
  
She was kneeling in front of Sabrina’s statue, staring right into her marble eyes.  
She could almost hear her say _It’s okay Auntie Zee. Everything will be okay._  
Sabrina was smiling, of course she was. It was that bright grin she always had on her face, even in the darkest of times. And Zelda felt reassured. Whatever happened now, Sabrina was fine with it. She accepted it.  
In her hands, the letter-opener, placed right above her heart. She was not shaking, she was unafraid. It was alright. She was at peace with what had to be done.  
She didn’t think about her sister. She didn’t think about Ambrose, nor the Coven. Perhaps it was selfish of her. But the pain — the pain was all she had. A constant companion.  
Her mind was filled with Sabrina.  
Oh, It would be easy — so easy.  
She just had to lower the weapon. Push it down her chest. One strike and all of her pain and suffering would be gone.  
One strike, and maybe… just maybe, she would be with Sabrina again.  
Zelda smiled. It wouldn’t be messy nor too painful. She would atone for her crimes in a single movement.  
She didn’t pray to Hecate. She didn’t pray to Satan. She didn’t care anymore. All those higher beings pretending they could help her — failing her every step of the way.  
She didn’t believe in any of them anymore. She believed in Sabrina.  
Zelda’s hands shook ever so slightly.  
She closed her eyes, head thrown back, offering her face to the creature of the Hereafter.  
She felt ready to surrender. To give herself up completely.  
Behind her, she heard a Banshee singing. She smiled at the cries.  
Her time had come.  
Zelda held on to the weapon tighter.  
  
“Sister Zelda?”  
  
Zelda opened her eyes and turned around.  
There, next to the door , stood Lilith in all her glory, staring at her with confusion .   
And the Banshee stopped singing, leaving the two of them in a terrifying quietness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Zelda breaks, Lilith is there to pick her up.
> 
> Perhaps, two enemies can heal together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, me again, back with another chapter.
> 
> Finally, some interactions between these two women. I was a bit saddened by the Madam Spellman scene in 4x06, I decided to echo it - in a way I felt suited them best.  
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Happy reading, and don't forget to leave a comment if you've enjoyed it! Your reactions and kind words always push me to do better!

“What are you doing?”   
  
Lilith stared at the woman in front of her, the woman whose face was devoid of feelings, white as snow. Her cheeks were hollow, her eyes empty. She was wearing a sombre outfit, simple, dark, fashionable as always. Her usually neatly curled hair was falling weakly on her chest. That was a woman standing in front of a precipice, a woman crying for help. She could feel it, deep inside.   
The Mother of Demons knew exactly what was going on. After all, she had been there herself, not so long ago. And she understood. That was perhaps, the reason she had come all the way from Hell.   
She had suffered Zelda’s pain. A firm grip over her heart. She had perceived her anguish. Her cries. Just like the day Sabrina had died. She had heard it, calling out to her — and she had come. Of course she had. Zelda had saved her from herself, now it was time to return the favor.   
She looked at the shining, sharp letter-opener in the woman’s hands and took a step closer. One little step.   
The other woman glowered at her, her lips pursed. Shelooked like a untamed animal cornered, and Lilith knew, from her time in the garden, how dangerous they could be. She stopped and raised her hands : a silence promise to remain where she was. For now.   
  
“Go away.” Zelda Spellman spat.   
  
There was such anger in her voice, such rage. Oh, Lilith had seen her furious before, but never like this. She would have been fascinated in another occasion. Zelda Spellman’s anger was an untamed fire: it burnt until there was nothing left but ashes and smoke. _One thing they had in common_, Lilith thought. Despite her spiteful tone, the Queen of Hell didn’t go away. She wouldn’t go away. She was not scared, nor felt threatened by the High Priestess. If Zelda truly wanted to end her life, she would have to do it in front of her whether she liked it or not. She sincerely doubted she would. She was too proud for that.   
  
“Set that down.” Lilith said, confident, her chin high.   
  
She looked down on the other woman, knowing that Zelda Spellman would never turn her back from a challenge. She looked at her as if she was beneath her, the way she would have stared at one of her minions. Hands on her  hips , towering  her ,  she waited for the other witch to  turn her  anger towards  her and not herself. She waited for the fire to unleash.   
  
“I said: Leave me alone. ” The red-head repeated, drawing the letter-opener dangerously closer to her chest.   
  
Lilith shrugged, not demonstrating any kind of feelings other than indifference. Zelda Spellman didn’t need to be looked after, not right now. She needed someone who would snap her out of it. She was a capable woman who knew how to take care of herself, she had gathered over the years. But the woman in front of her was barely the empty shell of the magnificent witch she knew she could be.   
So be it. Two could play that game.   
It was time to knock some sense into this lost soul.   
  
“If you really want to die, then by all means, do it. Do it right now. In front of me. Go on, then. ”   
  
She placed both of her hands on her hips, waiting. Her eyes never left Zelda, challenging her. The High Priestess hesitated, her hands shaking. She seemed to consider her options for a second, but shook her head. Her lips were quivering — that was a good sign, Lilith decided. The Queen of Hell took another step closer, carefully, ever so slowly.   
  
“If you don’t leave right this instant, I swear…” Zelda whimpered, her voice feebler, less assured.   
  
She was trembling like a leaf on the wind. A delicate creature waiting to be crushed or picked up. Lilith continued approaching, her heels clicking on the marble ground.   
  
“Put down the blade.” It was not a warning, nor a discussion. It was an order. “What would Sabrina say if she saw you right now?” Lilith said, her voice spiteful.   
  
It was cold. It was hard. It was exactly what Zelda needed, and she knew that. It would either push her over the edge or wake her from her trance. Either way, it was worth a shot. Lilith clenched her jaw, watching as the woman’s eyes filled with tears at the mere mention of the daughter she had lost. She could feel the other woman’s pain in her own chest, ripping her heart apart but stood still, fighting against emotions that were not her own. After what seemed like forever, Zelda hands lowered in defeat, and the letter-opener fell by her side. Lilith let out a relieved breath and whisked the weapon away while Zelda was not looking.   
  
“What am I doing? Oh god, Sabrina… What am I doing? ” Spellman said, her voice breaking into a sob. She concealed her face into her hands, seeking privacy to mourn.   
  
Her chest was heaving with repressed sobs, and Lilith let her cry. She sat right next to her, beneath Sabrina’s statue. She said nothing, but stayed here until Zelda stopped crying.   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Zelda stared at the steaming cup of tea Lilith had poured down in front of her, observing the clouds of smoke evaporating into the air. She was craving a cigarette, but her hands were still shaking, her throat raw from her earlier breakdown. She watched the liquid twirl in the porcelain, a welcome distraction from her own thoughts and feelings. Lilith was sitting right in  front of her, inside her  office ,  legs crossed , her impeccable red dress  revealing her  leg all the  way to her  hip . Now that she was more composed, the witch noticed how different she looked. Poised, regal — and yet broken. Her brown curls and scarlet lips could not conceal her pain from her. Zelda Spellman knew how to see through people — or at least she thought she did. She thought of Mambo Marie. Vinegar Tom whimpered, curled up at her feet.   
  
“How are you feeling?” Lilith said, disturbing the silence.   
  
Zelda sighed. This was a question she most definitely did not want to answer. No words could define how hopeless she felt. She shook her head, tore her gaze away from the cup, and stared at her enemy, regally sat on the opposite chair. There was no smirk on Lilith’s face, no amusement. Her blue eyes were cold — and perhaps it was what she needed when her world was burning. Her presence unnerved her as much as it relieved her.   
  
“Why are you here?” She said unemotionally.   
  
Lilith grinned sadly, before taking a sip from her own cup of tea. Her eyes never left her, and the intensity of her glare was almost too much. Zelda cowered away and reported her focus back to the steaming liquid in front of her.   
  
“Would you believe me if I told you that I felt your pain?” Lilith said cautiously.   
  
Zelda shook her head. No, she wouldn’t believe that. Lilith was many things but she was uncompassionate. Over the previous months, she hadn’t demonstrated any kind of interest in other people. She had merely helped whenever it benefited her. Why would she come now? What did she have to gain? She was a power-driven maniac who had put her faith in the wrong people. Much like her, in a way.   
_No, not like her_ , the High Priestess decided,  willing her  thoughts away. They were nothing alike.   
  
“I’m sorry, Zelda. I’m sorry about Sabrina. ” The demoness whispered.   
  
Zelda closed her eyes, swallowing another wave of pain and anger. She wanted to scream. She wanted to blame someone and more importantly, she wanted to hold Lilith responsible. Where was she, the day Sabrina had died? Why had she not come to help?   
_ I helped you, and you left. I protected you, and you didn’t return the favor. Where were you when we needed you? _   
She wanted to punch the woman until her fists were bleeding. Zelda took a deep breath, digging her nails into her own flesh to contain herself. Lost in her own fury, she hadn’t noticed the way Lilith’s voice had slightly trembled over Sabrina’s name.   
  
“Your apologies won’t bring her back.” She spat.   
  
“Neither will your sacrifice.” The other woman said.   
  
Zelda sighed. She was right. It had been foolish of her. Too driven by her own sorrow, she had almost abandoned her family, her coven — or whatever was left of them. She was right. Sabrina would have never wanted that. But she was tired of living for everybody else. She was tired of having people relying on her that way.   
She was just so tired of it all.   
She conjured a cigarette and lit it despite her aching throat. The High Priestess took a long, calming drag and closed her eyes.   
  
“I know what you are enduring.” Zelda scoffed. How dare she ? But as she was about to retaliate, Lilith continued. “When Adam died… I, too, thought that it was the end for me. ”   
  
It took a few seconds for Zelda to process what she had just heard, but her eyes shot right back to Lilith’s mournful face. The brunette almost seemed — lost in her thoughts, lost in her own pain. Adam was gone? How ? Why? He was only just a baby. A perfect baby whose birth had blessed the entire coven. Before she could ask questions, as if she had already guessed her train of thoughts, Lilith continued with the similar stale tone.   
  
“I killed him.” She said, coldly, twirling her tea absentmindedly. “I couldn’t let Lucifer take him away from me — I couldn’t. So I killed him. I set him free. And I fully intended to follow him. ”   
  
The cigarette ash fell on her pants, burning its way to her thigh. Zelda let it, confused and lost. She waited for Lilith to continue, but the Queen’s face was unreadable. Her hand, however, laid on her stomach protectively — as if Adam had never left her womb. As if she hadn’t done the most atrocious deed. For the first time, Zelda Spellman felt sorry for Lilith. Sorry, and compassionate. She now understood what she had meant. Lilith did know her pain. Lilith did understand. She was perhaps, the only person around who knew exactly how it felt to take her own children’s life.   
  
“What made you change your mind?” Zelda asked, avoiding to look at the brunette.   
  
“You, Sister Zelda.” At that, Zelda stared at her impossible blue eyes. “I was about to end my miserable life when you came into the room, bearing hope.”   
  
She could remember now. Lilith holding the spear. The tears in her eyes. Her wobbly voice, her tired features. The emptiness that surrounded her. She remembered coming to the room, and discovering her here, in front of Hecate’s statues. She had stopped her. She hadn’t known it back then — she was still recovering from the shock of finding her own brother in her office. She hadn’t known what had happened.   
  
“I owe you my life. Twice, as a matter of fact. And I have come to return the favor. ”   
  
“I don’t want it. I don’t trust you. ”   
  
She thought about Mambo Marie — or rather Baron Samedi. No, she would not make that mistake again. Especially not with Lilith, the ultimate wild card.   
The Queen of Hell laughed. Her smile was wicked and enthralling. Dangerous.   
  
“Of course you don’t. And you shouldn’t. I still am your foe. ” Zelda felt glad for a moment that they were on the same page. For a minute, she had feared that Lilith sought her friendship. “But should you need to talk to someone— someone who understands. Someone outside of your family… I’ll be here. ”   
  
This wasn’t a friendship.   
They were not burying the axe.   
They were merely two enemies, grieving over the loss of their child together. Two women who had killed those they loved most. It didn’t make them friends. It made them companions. Companions in suffering. And perhaps, she was fine with that.   
Perhaps two enemies could heal together.   
This wasn’t a friendship.   
This was an alliance .   
Zelda watched as the other woman rose from her seat, her empty cup of tea laying on her desk.   
  
“I’ll keep an eye on you.” Lilith said, before disappearing in a gush of fire.   
  


* * *

  
  
And Lilith did.   
Through the mirrors of the Academy, she watched over the witch for the rest of the night. She doubted Zelda would attempt to take her own life again, but one could never be too sure.   
She monitored her every action, studied her features. She saw her weeping, she saw her horrified by what she had done. Zelda didn’t sleep, didn’t eat. She paced around her office, smoking cigarettes after cigarettes. But Zelda lived, and that alone, was enough. Lilith had done her deed. She had saved her from herself, just like Zelda had done that gloomy night.   
And when the morning came, she saw her running to her sister, throwing herself into her arms. She saw Hilda’s shocked features. She imagined what it would feel like.   
She witnessed it all, from her own chambers in Hell. Wishing she could have had someone too.   
But Lilith was alone.   
Alone.   
_ Aching. _   
She turned towards her son, or whatever was left of him.   
  
“I will find a way to bring you back home, my perfect little devil.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda questions her beliefs. Lilith shows her Sabrina's legacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again,
> 
> Wow, Tuesday again, so soon! Here is another chapter for you guys, which I hope you will enjoy (I certainly did).  
> We will soon enter the core of Madam Spellman so brace yourself for the ride.
> 
> Please, don't forget to let me know what you thought of this chapter! Your comments and encouragement always give me strength to come up with new stories!  
> Happy reading!

Zelda Spellman had looked better, but she had also looked worse.

Much worse.

That image hunted her.

Such a powerful woman, burdened, ready to end it all.

The colors on her cheeks had returned, the blissful glow of her hair shone upon the world again. Lilith was starting thinking that perhaps, her help was no longer needed. This suicide attempt had been a wake-up call. Perhaps it had been what she had needed to find hope again.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

Perhaps, they had encouraged each other, in a way.

She liked thinking that. She took pride in that idea.

And most importantly… Sabrina would have been proud, had she been here.

Zelda Spellman still hurt and so did Lilith. It was that pain, that guilt that bonded them. 

It was hard to tell which one was hers, and which wasn’t. 

Either way, it didn’t matter.

She felt a connexion, however thin it was.

It was still better than what she had.

Lilith kept on looking out for Zelda. 

But the days passed, and the other witch held on. 

That was good.

She kept looking out. Less and less over time.

She hadn’t seen her since that terrible night. She didn’t want to intrude. Grief was best experienced alone. Zelda was doing fine on her own. She was well surrounded. Zelda and Hilda were closer than ever. 

It was good. It meant that the other witch was healing.

It was good, she tried to convince herself, her heart heavy with loneliness.

Yet, part of her almost wished it wasn’t the case. So she’d have a perfectly good excuse to drop in unannounced, and cheat her own solitude.

* * *

  
  


She stood in front of Hecate’s statue for the first time since Sabrina’s passing, and remained frozen. _It wasn’t right,_ she thought, her eyes roaming over the three-faced Goddess.

It felt inappropriate. 

She looked at the guardian of their Coven. The Order of Hecate. What a joke.

_Guardian_. She wanted to laugh. Guardians were meant to protect. Guardians were meant to salvage.

_Liar._

Hecate should have saved Sabrina.

Hecate could have saved Sabrina.

She hadn’t.

It had all been a lie. 

She had been fooled again.

Fooled into believing in someone that didn’t care about her, nor her Coven. If she had, she wouldn't had let her die. Goddess of fertility and motherhood? She could scoff.

Zelda Spellman glowered at the Mother, the Maiden, the Crone, the three statues of unholy Hecate. Hecate to whom she had sacrificed everything. To whom she had prayed to. Hecate she had worshiped faithfully and never once doubted. 

Hecate who had let her down.

Who could she trust?

Lucifer had enslaved them. Lilith had done no good to the Coven. Hecate had abandoned her when she needed her the most. What kind of Goddess would leave an innocent child to die ? What kind of all-powerful being would allow such suffering?

There was nothing.

She had no faith. Not anymore.

No Goddess to worship.

Nothing.

She would not be deceived again.

_Never again._

And with that, Zelda Spellman left to fetch her hammer.

* * *

Lilith stood by the threshold, arms crossed over her chest, leaning on the frame, amused. She quirked her eyebrow, observing the woman before her, a huge hammer raised in the air, ready to strike. Oh, that was quite a show: the High Priestess had rolled up her sleeves, tied her hair in a ponytail and her muscles bulging from the effort. She laughed out loud, and startled, Zelda Spellman turned around, rolling her eyes at her. She didn’t seem particularly pleased nor disconcerted. Merely annoyed. But Lilith approached anyway, as the red-head pursued her work.

“Planning on redecorating, I take it?” Lilith teased.

Zelda didn’t answer and lowered the weapon on the statue with a strength that surprised them both. The impact echoed inside the Academy grimly as some rocks cascaded down on the marble floor. The Mother had lost her nose, and Lilith found some amusement in that. Wherever she was, Hecate would be cross. Would she come after Zelda Spellman for desecrating her? Hopeful, she had better things to do than to come after a grieving woman.

“She turned her back on me. Now, I’m returning the favor.” Zelda said, teeth gritted, obviously getting ready for another blow.

This time, the Mother’s head fell completely at their feet, and Lilith gazed into the empty eyes of the statue. She frowned. For a second, it had almost seemed like the eyes had started shining. Lilith discarded that idea, shaking her head. A trick of the light, she thought. Zelda stopped, and whipped some dust away from her face. Suddenly, as if she suddenly registered her presence, she turned towards her, brows knitted together in confusion.

“Is there any particular reason for your visit?” She asked.

She had feared that question. She had thought about the various reasons that could have urged her to come here. None of them seemed believable. Lilith considered telling the truth, but stopped right before the words could spill from her mouth, ashamed, perhaps, by her own behavior. She said nothing, disregarding the question. It was better not to answer it. 

Zelda nodded unconvincedly, but didn’t push further. And she continued destroying the effigy of her once beloved Goddess. With each blow, she stood taller, more dangerous. With each blow, she seemed to let out of her chest a reproach. Lilith observed her, feeding on her anger. It was rather exquisite.

“What will your coven worship, then, Sister Zelda?” She found herself asking.

“Oh, it certainly won’t be you.” The red-head replied unhesitatingly. Her tone was neither cold or angry, but slightly amused in a way.

Lilith smiled. Of course not. The thought had barely crossed her mind. And yet — she remembered. Oh, she recalled the feeling of being worshiped, of hearing those prayers. The power surging through her veins, the feeling of being adored making her skin tingle. She remembered Zelda’s voice in her head, the way she pronounced her name every night. Her heartfelt prayers. What a fool she had been back there. She should have offered her help, her protection more. She should have kept that powerful Coven by her side. It was too late for that, and Zelda’s trust was not easily earned. Perhaps one day, she dared to think…

“I don’t know if I believe in Higher beings anymore.” Zelda continued.

It only seemed reasonable. After what the coven had been through in less than a year, all the betrayals and deceptions. Even the most faithful believer would lose their trust. There were still many witches left to worship. Morgane Le Fray and many others. Lilith knew that when the time came, the Spellmans would find someone to look after them and their order. A Coven without a deity to worship was not a real Coven, and the elder sister surely knew that. But they had time.

“Ah. What do you believe in, then, Zelda Spellman?” The Queen of Hell asked, closer to the other woman.

Zelda let her hammer down, seemingly happy about the outcome of her outburst. She looked at the pile of stones, of what formerly was her Goddess.

“I don’t know,” came as an instant reply.“but I believed in Sabrina.”

Lilith offered the witch a pensive smile. Of course she would. Of course she did. And that made sense. She stared at the magnificent statue of the teenage witch, her smile, her assurance. It was quite a beautiful memorial for an exceptional witch. And upon studying the marble effigy, an idea rose inside of her head, an idea she wasn’t convinced the other woman would agree to.

But she had to try.

“There’s something I’d like to show you, if you’ll let me.” Lilith said.

Zelda turned around, her hammer in hand, and stared at her quizzically.

* * *

When Lilith had held out her hand for her to take, Zelda had hesitated, not quite trusting the person who had once been a nemesis. She had looked at her, confused and slightly worried. Yet, Lilith’s calm and gentle demeanor had somehow managed to make her feel safe. It didn’t seem as if she wanted to cause her any harm, so Zelda thought: Why not? She had taken up the offer, had laced their fingers together and suddenly, they had been surrounded by a circle of fire. The next thing Zelda knew, she wasn’t at the Academy anymore, but standing in the throne room of Hell. While the setting was familiar, it had changed considerably ever since her last visit. She looked around, lost, inquiring why they had come here of all the places. Lilith said nothing and let go of her hand. She started ascending to the throne where she took her rightful place. So this is what had changed, she thought. Lilith was Queen of Hell, again. Lilith had fought over the throne for herself. What of Lucifer? How had she done that? She couldn’t help but feel impressed. Here she stood, regal as ever, a wicked grin on her face. 

“Why have you brought me here?” She said, her tone harsher than she desired it to be.

Lilith, in all her grace and glory, motioned for her to come forward and sit next to her. She had just conjured an ordinary looking chair, right by her side. Zelda did, legs shaking. This was the brunette’s kingdom, her rules. She did as she was asked and took place next to the Queen. Lilith looked at her, grinning and there was no doubt she was enjoying this a bit too much. Zelda only wished to wipe her smug smile from her face.

With a flick of the wrist, the first witch conjured a book in her hands. It was ancient, dusty. She opened it, flicked the pages until she reached what she wanted. She handed the grimoire to Zelda, who frowned, not quite sure what to do with it.

“This… is your daughter’s legacy.” And at that, Zelda’s hands began to shake. "Every reformation she wanted to make to change Hell. It’s all here."

Zelda’s fingers traced the delicate writing she could only associate with Lilith. She followed the lines, her eyes filling with tears. This was so much Sabrina. A delicate mix of good and evil, of humanity and witchcraft. This was as she always had been: balanced. 

“She had many ideas. Most of them I agreed with. So I made Hell the place she desired it to be. And as long as I will sit on this throne, her rules will be abided by.” Lilith continued, softly.

It was a promise. And Zelda felt grateful for that. Grateful that the other woman had invited her here. It was not like the statue they had built in the Academy. It was not a memorial. It was better, stronger. It was a reminder of who Sabrina Spellman had once been, what she could have done had she been given more time. Zelda closed the book, teary and overwhelmed. She sometimes forgot that her niece belonged to Hell as much as she belonged to earth. Her heart was beating more soundly in her chest. She turned towards the Queen, whose eyes were lost before her, evidently waiting for her reactions.

“I don’t even know what to say. I — Thank you, Lilith.” Zelda whispered.

And she meant it. With all her heart. It was something she didn’t know she needed, and she felt grateful the other woman had wanted to show it to her.

“Perhaps I believed in her too.” The first woman said.

And that confession hung upon them, heavy, emotional.

Zelda had lost her daughter that day, and she had never imagined that perhaps, Lilith had lost something too. Something neither woman could name, but it didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered but this book in her hands and the promise that she would never be forgotten.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you — Do you want to come inside?”
> 
> “I’ve intruded enough.” She said, moving away from the other woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Tuesday again, time does fly, doesn't it?
> 
> New chapter, new step closer to Madam Spellman! I hope you will enjoy this! Thank you for your support and your kind words! They mean the world to me!
> 
> Enjoy and don't forget to let me know what you thought of it!

Hilda wanted to go back to the Mortuary.Shesaidsheneeded to go back home.  
And Zelda understood, even though she wasn’t feeling that way.  
She didn’t mind sleeping on her couch at the Academy: she barely rested these days anyway. She didn’t mind remaining in a neutral territory. It was easier that way.  
The youngest witch had argued that their whole lives were inside this grim mansion. Salem was left on his own, fed every day by Harvey Kinkle’s father. The familiar had refused to move from the house , still seeking , perhaps, Sabrina’s closeness . He wouldn’t survive longer without his friend. Perhaps it was best if they returned indeed and ended the poor cat’s misery.  
Hilda wanted to go back to the Mortuary. She said it was time. And she was right. It had been a few weeks since Sabrina had… left. They couldn’t avoid it forever. They had grown here and raised their children. It was home.  
The only one they had ever known.  
So, on a grim evening, once the witches of the coven slept, they left . They went back home.  
Hilda and Zelda Spellman held hands on the porch. Took their time before pushing the door open. Salem was nowhere in sight, as they both crossed the threshold. Hilda Spellman turned on the light, and the mansion seemed alive once more.  
Zelda had always enjoyed this house. It was gloomy, dark and old. It suited her demeanor, or so she thought. Yet, upon the years, she had learnt to appreciate the warmth of this little foyer they had built, the light that the children generated, the constant noise. She pretended to loathe Sabrina and Ambrose’s constant bickering while it amused her.  
Now everything felt empty and silent. Too silent. It was overwhelming.  
Hilda moved to put the kettle on. This was so much like Hilda: busying herself to forget what truly mattered. They were alone now. Sabrina was gone. Zelda remained frozen on the threshold.   
It looked like home, smelled like home.  
It wasn’t it.  
And it would never be.  
Her eyes fell upon Sabrina’s red coat, hung on the designated rack. It remained there, as if the young witch would suddenly come down the stairs and scream before heading out to yet another movie with her friends. But Sabrina would not and the coat would remain there, forgotten, gathering dust. How long? How long would it stay there?  
Her feet moved on their own accord, bringing her closer and closer. She reached for the clothes: she had forgotten the feeling of the material between her hands. In a moment of weakness, she brought it near her nose and found herself engulfed in memories. She remembered the smell of Sabrina as a baby. That delightful fragrance of innocence. She remembered bathing her, smelling her newly shampooed hair. The best feeling of the universe. This — smelled like flowers and thunder. This smelled like wilderness and sweetness all at once. She missed her. Oh god, she missed her. Zelda held on to the coat tighter, and if she closed her eyes, if she really tried, she could almost imagine it was Sabrina’s frail body she was holding against her heart.  
Almost.  
  
“Zelds?” Hilda, said , and before she could remove the item from her arms , her sister caught her.   
  
Zelda wiped out tears she hadn’t meant to spill. Hilda’s face softened sadly, and she came closer to console her.  
She couldn’t do this.  
It was too much.  
It was too soon, too fresh.  
She couldn’t be here.  
  
“I — I need some air. ” She mumbled, before putting back Sabrina’s coat where it belonged.   
  
She practically ran to the door and pushed it open. There, she took a quiet , deep breath, before lighting a cigarette . Zelda took a couple of soothing drags, observing it consume itself into nothingness. And when she was done, she looked over at the cemetery and noticed a familiar dark shadow, in silent contemplation in front of Sabrina’s grave.  
  


* * *

  
  
Lilith stood by Sabrina’s grave.  
She hadn’t been here since the funeral.  
Even then, she hadn’t had time to pay her respect, worried she had overstepped her boundaries by coming to the burial. Too lost in her own emotions to say goodbye.  
She had wanted to do this for a while. She couldn’t bring herself to understand why.  
She laughed sadly. No, that was not true.  
She knew exactly why and couldn’t come in terms with that. Lilith sighed.  
She cared more than she let on, and that alone was proof of her weakness. And she loathed it.   
The Queen of Hell shook her head, focusing on the stones in front of her. The Spellman family had really done a great job. It truly was a beautiful grave they had given both of their girls. They deserved a nice, restful place to spend eternity.   
So she stood , still and quiet, and stared at the ground , half-expecting to see the young girl crawl out of it. She had always been resilient, that one. It wouldn’t have been a surprise. So she waited, but nothing came. Sabrina was dead.  
Lilith stood by Sabrina’s grave, and dropped a single rose at its feet. A token of her affection.   
Lilith wondered what she would have done for Adam or where he would have been buried. She found herself wondering what would happen if she came to die herself. Who would mourn her? Would she even have a tomb? No, she shouldn’t think about that now. This wasn’t the time or place.  
The wind blew, carrying with it a delicious fragrance of tobacco and perfume. Lilith smiled grimly. And then Zelda was by her side. She said nothing, but stood next to her. And it felt good.  
And here there were again, two lost souls bonding over grief. They lost themselves in a quiet contemplation.  
  
“I’m going to get her back. By any means necessary. ” Zelda said, after a while.  
  
Lilith nodded, and slightly turned to look at the other woman. Her eyes were red, teary, her lips quivering as she stared at the grave before them. She didn’t look back, nor tried to hide. She avoided her glance, but didn’t cower away from her emotions. Baby steps, the first woman thought. She didn’t want to face her, and that was fine. She understood. Just like she understood her urgent need to get her daughter back. Hadn’t she done the same with Adam? Wouldn’t she do anything for him?  
  
“I would be happy to assist you, if you’d let me.” Lilith stated, not wishing to force the other woman’s hand.  
  
“Why?”  
  
She had been waiting for that question, had prepared for it. Zelda’s eyes were squinted, her face composed and yet suspicious. She didn’t trust her, and that was fine. She didn’t expect her to. Besides, she didn’t need to trust her. All she needed was to have faith in their common trauma, the very last thing that linked them. Zelda had unwillingly helped to capture Adam’s soul inside the poppet. Lilith was ready to do the same. And if she was truly honest with herself, deep inside, she was quite confident that the world would be better off with Sabrina in it.   
  
“It’s really challenging to hate Sabrina. Trust me I’ve tried. ” She flatly answered.  
  
She tried to not sound too emotional — which she was. The other witch scoffed, wiping a tear away from her face. The shadow of a smile had drawn itself on her lips, and right now, she looked magnificent. Sad but beautiful, nevertheless.  
  
“I believe you.”  
  
Lilith smiled in return, then reported her attention back to the grave. Zelda did the same. They stood there a while longer, enjoying each other’s silent company. They didn’t need to talk, for they shared a connexion that no words would ever describe. They were at peace. The wind blew harder, and they soon found themselves shivering. Lilith had curled her arms around herself to shield her own body, not quite daring leaving just yet. Zelda caught that, for she offered her a sad smile.  
  
“Do you — Do you want to come inside? ”  
  
Now, that was something Lilith hadn’t expected. And it was perhaps the first time she had been invited willingly inside the house. Taken aback, she opened her mouth and immediately closed it, unsure of what to say. While she longed for company, she knew she was would never truly feel at ease inside the Spellman’s home. She had messed too many things. She had caused too much chaos.  
  
“I’ve intruded enough.” She said, moving away from the other woman.  
  
She kept her eyes down, pretty sure that they would betray her. She had yet many things to do in Hell, many souls to manage and a son who was probably wondering where she had gone. A son who she also needed to get back. And yet, her heart had been screaming for her to accept the gentle proposal.  
  
“I wouldn’t mind.” Zelda said, carefully.  
  
Zelda Spellman had never been anything but cold and severe towards her. Her gentle voice took her by surprise and moved her beyond reason. Lilith smiled shyly. She couldn’t refuse such an invitation twice. And so she followed the other woman into the familiar house.  
  


* * *

  
  
Hilda was way too happy about Lilith’s visit. Zelda found it quite annoying. But where she was cold and severe — or so she had been told, her sister was warm and welcoming. Hildy took their guest’s coat, gave her a cup of tea and biscuits and the three of them moved inside the parlor to talk.  Lilith took place on the couch , right next to Zelda, and the older sister couldn’t help but remember the first time they had sat there, talking about an exorcism.  How she had hated the woman back then… And she still did, in a way. She had messed her family permanently. But things were different now. Zelda could understand why Sabrina always sought her favorite teacher’s help. She could see the appeal in those profound blue eyes.  
They talked. It was mostly silly chatter, but it kept them all occupied. The sound of their discussion echoed in the hallways, and for a moment, Zelda could almost pretend that the house wasn’t painfully empty. Hilda asked about little Adam, Zelda searched for Lilith’s eyes, apologizing in silence but the brunette remained firm and proud. She lied to their faces convincingly and quickly changed the subject. From tea, they moved to Scotch as the moon began ascending into the sky. After a few hours, Hilda abandoned them to get ready for bed.   
Zelda could have prayed for this moment to never end. She didn’t want Lilith to go — She didn’t want to be left alone. Fortunately for her, Lilith made no attempt to leave. They drank, celebrated life and death, celebrated Adam and Sabrina.  Encouraged by the alcohol , Zelda began to share some stories about Sabrina as a little girl, and Lilith listened to them attentively, cracking up a smile from time to time .  She told the story of Sabrina’s first injury, or the time she had fallen into a puddle of mud. She told her about Sabrina’s first words and first heartbreak. And it felt divine. Dwelling in her memories, it almost felt as if she was still here with them. After a while, however, the Queen of Hell’s face grew ever so grim, her smile replaced by a fierce frown.   
  
“Something wrong?” The red-head found herself asking, taking a drag of her cigarette.  
  
She had been smoking way too much all night long, her throat was aching. It didn’t matter, for she was glad of the Queen’s company.  
Lilith swallowed another sip of scotch, put down her glass on the table, and looked at her with her piercing eyes.   
  
“You truly are an exceptional mother, Zelda.” She said. “I wish I could have had a chance to be half as good as you.”  
  
Struck, Zelda stared at Lilith, unsure of what to say. Her heart was racing in her chest, swelling under the witch’s compliment and confession. All her life, she had been waiting for someone to voice those exact words to her, in vain. Sabrina was reluctant in calling her a mother, and even herself sometimes barely believed it. And so, when she dived into Lilith’s eyes, she discovered nothing but a genuine admiration. Perhaps it was the alcohol. Perhaps it was her emotions. Perhaps it didn’t matter why or how but Zelda felt the need, tugging inside of her.  And so, with a rush that was not usually her own, she passionately captured the other woman’s lips and closed her eyes , reveling in the warmth of her touch.  Lilith didn’t move at first, perhaps surprised, but then, her hand found her way on her hips, pulling her closer. And for a moment, for one smallmoment, she didn’t feel lonely anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you've enjoyed! I'll see you next week with the next chapter!
> 
> You can find me on social medias :  
> Twitter : @EvilMarie1  
> Tumblr : AnotherFrench_  
> Instagram : redsnow1_


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